“Meaningful Play”
“Developmental Appropriateness”
Those were buzz phrases when I was in college studying early childhood. Education is full of buzzwords, acronyms, and so many abbreviations that teacher conversations are beginning to sound like a teenage social media post.
Due to my work schedule, all of my own children were in daycare when they were young. We were lucky to be able to enroll our children in some wonderful, loving day care facilities. They spent their days building with blocks, they brought home great art projects, and they learned how to zip their coats by themselves by highly qualified and thoughtful providers.
However, not everyday was perfect. There was a point where each of my four came home with a bite from another child at one point or another. The caregiver would sheepishly hand me the required incident report and explain where the bite was and apologize. I would smile and say not to worry about it. When I got home I took the incident report and simply filed it in the trash can.
I know my kids. They are adorable, polite, playful, egocentric children who want what they want, when they want it. The truth is all children between the ages of 2-7 are egocentric. Children are not born with the skills of communication, sharing, turn taking, or patience. These skills are taught and modeled. Jean Piaget has done research and come up with four developmental stages between birth and age 16. The truth is that egocentrism starts even before age 2. If infants were not egocentric, they would not cry every other hour of the night, they would wait until a commercial came on before crying for a clean diaper, or they would decide not to scream their adorable little heads off in the middle of the grocery store.
Please know that egocentric and being egotistical are different things. Egocentric is only considering your own problems. Being egotistical is thinking very highly of yourself, in many cases, unrealistically high. From these definitions, I hope you can see why young children are considered egocentric, not egotistical.
Now, back to the biting. Imagine you are a small child minding your own business, chewing on a rubber duck. Your teething gums are in heaven as that chewy beak is hitting just the right places in your mouth. You get to the point where you don’t even notice the drool drenching your shirt, when all of a sudden a hand swoops in and grabs the duck by the tail, yanking it out of your mouth and hauls it a long, arduous crawl away from you. How frustrating! Unfortunately you have not acquired the verbal ability to tell an adult, ask for it back, or even understand that the other child has also not acquired the skills to ask for a turn with the duck. So what choice do you have? You will need to remember how to work all your little limbs together, at the same time and alternate hands and knees to crawl up behind the duck stealing child. The hot weather has gifted you a tank top bare shoulder in sight and you latch on with all your might. You may not have all your teeth, but you have your front teeth and they will send a message that you want that duck back! Success! The other child cries, which opens their mouth enough to let go of your duck and your gums are again in heaven.
But, that is not the end. Large hands pick you up from behind and move you to the other side of the room. Then, not only do they take your duck away, but they give it back to the other child while they are frantically rocking him in their arms. What just happened? There is a large person saying words sternly to you. Unsure what is happening you begin to cry. The adult then scoops you up and gives you another rubbery toy to chew on. Life is good again.
What was accomplished there? Think about it. This happens daily. I’ve done it. The child who took the toy gets rewarded with the duck. The biting child gets punished for having her toy taken away and then rewarded with a new one. It is so confusing. This is why I politely smile when I am told that my child was bitten. Surprisingly, I was only told once that my child bit another. I can easily see my child on either side of that hypothetical, realistic situation.
As a child I never went to daycare. I had three little brothers to socialize with. I did go to preschool, which was a really new concept in the early 1980’s. I loved it. It was in a neighbor’s basement. I remember a few things like a padded room we got to tumble in and a sand tub that we got to use grown up tools with. I know we sang some songs and did some finger plays. This is the reason I know the song I’m a Little Teapot- with actions! I looked it up to make sure I was right, but did you know that kindergarten was not required in the state of WI until 2011? Even then, it only states that it must be completed before entering first grade.
I get to teach 4 year old kinderdergarten for the first time this year. I have noticed looks of surprise and lots of questions that suggest I was demoted from second grade, which I previously taught. I am surprised by this. Do people still not recognize the purpose and importance of early childhood education? I also wonder if they know what an early childhood classroom looks like.
I walked into mine last week and was immediately filled with anxiety. There is stuff piled everywhere and far too many boxes of things to go through. I have an important job to do. I need to create a space that 4-year olds can learn through play - create meaningful play areas, if you will. Preschool (which I define as school before kindergarten) is meant to give children the skills needed to be a successful future student. These skills are laid out in the Wisconsin Model Early Learning Standards. The standards include fine and large motor skills, emotional and self concept development, curiosity engagement, imagination, and so much more. All age and developmentally appropriate skills.
The kindergarten teacher in our school and I are great friends and colleagues. I think I can speak for her when I say that we collectively feel the focus has deviated too far away from play in Kindergarten, and in some cases earlier education. I am very excited to work with her this year and share our free play and center spaces. Research has been done that says not enough free play early in our lives leads to anxiety, lack of emotional control, and limited decision making later in life.
My own life ends up being very scheduled. My husband and I have four kids, 2 jobs, and lots of responsibilities. It is really easy to give my four-year old my phone when I need her to be quiet in a waiting room. I say this because this is the way most of us are these days. It is hard not to be this way. It is even scary letting your children play outside without close supervision. Early childhood programs should not be an extension of this. Nor should they just be preparation for learning. Sure exposure to letters and numbers are nice, but free play can introduce so many skills a child needs just to be a good person.
I am about to enter a new school year. I apologize if I interact less online. Please know it is because I am helping young 4-year olds learn to use their voices instead of hitting and biting. I am setting up my dramatic play area so they can interact while pretending to be a vet and caring for animals while politely interacting. They are using a clipboard to scribble down all the pets’ symptoms while practicing pencil grip. They are learning to sympathize with owners and pets, and even tell stories about their own pets which will later translate to story writing skills. They are using the pretend cash register to learn that people need to make and spend money in life. They are looking at the labels on the shelf to read and see where they should put the veterinary tools and stuffed animals when they are done playing. Not to mention learning to take care of our classroom and learn responsibility for themselves.
I am going to be busy creating meaningful play that is developmentally appropriate and I can’t wait!
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