It is picture day. I have four kids. My oldest is in middle school and he could really care less about what he wears, but his hair…oh his hair. My twins are in first grade and aim to be the most beautiful princesses at the ball. Then there is my four year old. I have a nice Fall dress with a sweater, tights and white shoes all picked out. She took one glance at them laid nicely on her bed. Nope. She runs to her closet and pulls down her Christmas dress from last year which is beautiful, but as any parent knows, kids grow faster than you can afford and I am sure it won’t fit. This was something that this determined little girl would have to see for herself. After a short struggle to get the zipper up and her reassuring me she could breathe we ended in compromise. She thankfully still wore the sweater as it is a chilly day. Then, the piece de la resistance…her unicorn horn!
At this point I was done caring. Fine, wear the horn. Maybe it will distract from her banged up nose. So I scrubbed the stains out of the bottom of the dress from the thousands of times she wore it to dress up like a princess and got everyone’s hair done, except the boy, not sure what takes him so long. Then I remember I am a teacher. That means I also get my picture taken. I change my outfit, add some blush, and take one last look at my hair. Good enough.
Fast forward to today. I received all five blue and white envelopes and anxiously opened them. My twins packages were first. As natural posers their pictures were perfect. Each showing their respective diva and gofer like personalities. My son had a perfect smile (and hair). The shirt was untucked a touch on the side, but I can deal with that. Then the envelope of my youngest was opened. The purple Christmas dress looked pretty good. The unicorn horn is definitely the first thing you notice, followed by the red mark on her nose. Her huge smile leaves her eyes as tiny slits. Not the picture I had planned.
Then it dawns on me, her smile is huge! She was proud and happy. This picture is the perfect representation of who she is. She is a magical individual, a rough and tough unicorn, a unique little girl. The picture is all her.
Next week is picture retake day. If you look closely at the picture form you fill out there is now an option for retouching – light retouching or full. Each costs extra. Sure, kids have scars, zits, untucked shirts, crooked glasses, mismatched clothes, fly away hair, tears in their eyes, unicorn horns, so on and so on.
My plea to parents everywhere is not to ask your child for perfect pictures. Don’t pay for retouching. And unless your situation is extreme or your child was absent on picture day, don’t get retakes. Send a message to your child that they are perfect the way they are. Remember them as the hot mess, unique individual, and person they decided to be that day. When they look back at their pictures they will inevitably be mad that you dressed them in the best you could in the fashion of the decade, but they will also know that you loved them just the way they were.
Wait. I am not done. I forgot to mention the big, shiny earrings I added to my own ensemble the morning of pictures to distract from my braces. Yes, I opted for adult braces. I told myself this is my choice and I will not complain. But let me tell you, the wire hurts when it pokes you, your teeth and gums get sore, the brackets cut up the inside of your mouth, and eating is not only difficult, but dreaded in public in fear of what will get caught in them. Just remember this when your child needs them, and be sympathetic.
Anyway, when I got my pictures I became a bit disappointed that my braces weren’t more apparent. Last year I taught second grade. One of my students got braces earlier in the year, and when I got mine in May, he wanted to support me. He had a hard time in the beginning of his orthodontic journey and had a lot of empathy toward me when I started mine. He felt better about his braces by feeling like he could help me with mine. If you look at my picture closely you can see my braces. I almost wish they were more prominent so I could make others feel better about theirs. Being a teacher is not all about teaching academics, it is about making students feel like they can get through and accomplish anything.